some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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