True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.