Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.