Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(618): View more from Illinois

for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.

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(618): for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed. http://tfl.nu/1nkf

Replies (16) Good night (3046) Bad night (790)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.

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(910): He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts. http://tfl.nu/0rlv

Replies (22) Good night (3204) Bad night (1570)
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(757): View more from Virginia

Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"

(201): View more from New Jersey

hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins

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(757): Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank" (201): hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins http://tfl.nu/g5wh

Replies (41) Good night (4522) Bad night (1367)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.

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(715): i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead. http://tfl.nu/xiio

Replies (14) Good night (2102) Bad night (7630)
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(903): View more from Texas

He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...

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(903): He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered... http://tfl.nu/skgw

Replies (7) Good night (1203) Bad night (4704)
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(512): View more from Texas

I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.

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(512): I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time. http://tfl.nu/q10l

Replies (3) Good night (2214) Bad night (808)
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(703): View more from Virginia

I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket

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(703): I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket http://tfl.nu/mrk6

Replies (11) Good night (1417) Bad night (3083)
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(425): View more from Washington

I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.

(1-425): View more from Washington

No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.

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(425): I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool. (1-425): No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes. http://tfl.nu/wqbv

Replies (2) Good night (2405) Bad night (752)
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(727): View more from Florida

Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss

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(727): Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss http://tfl.nu/ms4i

Replies (9) Good night (840) Bad night (1258)
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(916): View more from California

She said she liked strap-ons.

(1-916): View more from California

SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!

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(916): She said she liked strap-ons. (1-916): SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER! http://tfl.nu/41v6

Replies (14) Good night (2902) Bad night (641)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?

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(781): "willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate? http://tfl.nu/w7fu

Replies (2) Good night (350) Bad night (612)
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(936): View more from Texas

Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.

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(936): Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible. http://tfl.nu/yk56

Replies (3) Good night (557) Bad night (318)
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(770): View more from Georgia

you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.

(1-770): View more from Georgia

But what if it got lost?

(770): View more from Georgia

its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.

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(770): you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in. (1-770): But what if it got lost? (770): its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it. http://tfl.nu/ord5

Replies (2) Good night (463) Bad night (285)
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(703): View more from Virginia

I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.

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(703): I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree. http://tfl.nu/r6v0

Replies (0) Good night (429) Bad night (220)
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(660): View more from Missouri

My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA

(816): View more from Missouri

Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?

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(660): My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA (816): Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better? http://tfl.nu/yqa7

Replies (4) Good night (573) Bad night (162)

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