Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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