Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
