Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
