I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
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