Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize