just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize
