...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
We're too hungover to prance.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
