if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
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Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
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I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You ruined the universe
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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