i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
