I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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