Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Randomize
