My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Randomize
