if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
