my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
