We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
