i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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