I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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