i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
