Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
