I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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