What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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