she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
