My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize