I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
