She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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