I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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