Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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