I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
