Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Randomize
