FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Randomize
