I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
third nipple confirmed
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
