I swear she didn't look like that last week.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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