i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
