Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Your mouth is God's brothel.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
