thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
