you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
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Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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