I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
