so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize