Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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