Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
