I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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