Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
