Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
