I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
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Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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