porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
