I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
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