My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
