Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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