dude i'm inner monologue high
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I'm always down for nudity.
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