Kiss
Puke
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
