Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
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