could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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