I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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