i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize