I want to have your abortion
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
