help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
