You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
your like the ambassador to my penis.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
