yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
