this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize