I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
