But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
