You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
